Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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