my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
