So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
