So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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