she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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