It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
