GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize