I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize