So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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