In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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