But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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