yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
