call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I need water and some morals
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize