thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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