I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops