my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.