your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
