The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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