some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
