the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
