Sponge bath it is.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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