A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize