So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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