Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
