Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That accounts for only three of the penises
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am one with the molecules
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
