apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
