It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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