what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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