remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
