there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
