That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
