Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
