Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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