South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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