Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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