White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
