Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We need to get me chipped asap
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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