dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
