He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
