her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
