Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
