check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
