im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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