There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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