And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
