i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
