No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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