we're blogging at a bar
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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