I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
