He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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