how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
